


Here For You

by LieselSolo



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Bromance, Family Drama, Family Issues, Friendship, Gen, M/M, Male Friendship, Pre-Star Wars: The Force Awakens
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-12
Updated: 2021-01-12
Packaged: 2021-03-17 07:40:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28721550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LieselSolo/pseuds/LieselSolo
Summary: Ben finds out that Poe has joined the Spice Runners. Set before Ben's fall.
Relationships: Kes Dameron & Poe Dameron, Poe Dameron & Ben Solo
Kudos: 2





	Here For You

**Author's Note:**

  * For [idrilhadhafang](https://archiveofourown.org/users/idrilhadhafang/gifts).



> I don’t own Star Wars, you know that. This was written for my friend who ships Ben and Poe. Also, keep in mind that this is Poe’s perspective on his father that we’re seeing here, not what his father’s actually like. Also also, I haven’t read Free Fall.

How could Poe be _missing?_

Those words had been repeating themselves in Ben’s mind all day, ever since his mother had called with the news. He couldn’t concentrate on his Jedi training and he could feel his uncle’s disappointment. Some part of him wanted to talk about this with his uncle, but he didn’t have the courage to do so. More and more often nowadays, he sensed Luke mentally cringing with fear around him, like he worried that Ben could snap and lash out if something angered him.

At that thought, Ben felt his stomach tighten as his hands clench as he entered his hut. No, no, he reminded himself, he shouldn’t think about that right now, not when Poe was missing.

But was he _actually_ missing, or had he just gone off somewhere without telling anyone? Poe was eighteen now, a legal adult, he technically didn’t _have_ to tell anyone where he was going.

Still, it wasn’t _like_ Poe to just disappear.

He grabbed his sketchbook and pens and sat on his bed, taking several deep breaths in a vain attempt to calm himself. Leaning back on his pillow and resting the sketchbook on his legs, he uncapped a pen and started drawing an oval – a head-shaped oval. Then Poe’s soft eyes, his wide smile, his shaggy hair . . .

His comm beeped, almost causing him to drop his sketchbook in his rush to grab it and answer. A long sigh flowed out of his mouth when he saw Poe’s hologram, looking worn and haggard. “Poe!” he exclaimed. “Thank the gods you’re all right, where are you?? Did you get kidnapped?? If you were kidnapped, I’ll get my parents and my uncle to look for you!”

Poe held up his hand. “I’m not kidnapped, don’t worry.”

“Then where are you? Why did you disappear without telling anyone what you were doing??”

“I’m telling _you,_ aren’t I?” Poe let out a long sigh. “Look, it’s complicated, but I’m okay and I’m not in any danger . . . at least not yet.”

 _Yet._ Ben felt his heart jump at the word. _“Yet?_ What the hell do you mean _yet?_ Poe, _where are you??”_

Another long sigh as Poe’s eyes lowered. “I’m on Kijimi. I’ve . . . I’ve joined the Spice Runners here.”

“You _what?”_ It was like a rock had settled in Ben’s stomach. “Poe, how could you?”

Now Poe was glaring. “Hey, your own _dad_ used to be a smuggler, remember?”

“That’s _different,”_ Ben exclaimed. “He had to do it to _survive._ He didn’t have a loving father to come home to!”

“Loving?” Poe spat out the word. “He’s probably _glad_ to have me out of his hair.”

“Poe . . .”

“I _mean_ that. Ever since Mom died he’s wished that I wasn’t born.”

“What? Come on, that can’t be true . . .”

“How do you _know_ that? To you he’s this nice guy, but you don’t see what goes on at our home! Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if he wished _you_ were his son instead of me! You, the future Jedi, the guy with the bright future ahead of him.”

Ben’s stomach flinched at that statement. “Bright future? When Uncle Luke doesn’t trust me as far as he can throw me? You think I’m here because I always dreamed of being a Jedi? No, I’m here because Mom and Dad freak out every time I do something with the Force and Uncle Luke thinks he can keep my powers under control!” He blinked hard to keep tears under control, trying not to think of how the voice in his head kept telling him that his parents sent him here to forget about him. “Remember when we were kids, how we talked about going to flight school together? I didn’t get to do that, but _you_ still can.”

“I _know_ how to fly,” said Poe. “I don’t need to go to flight school. Neither do you, for that matter. We’ve both got pilot fathers who taught us all we need to know.”

“And you repay Kes by running away from him?”

“I’m eighteen. It’s not running away when you’re a legal adult. Why should I stick around a guy who doesn’t want me around anyway?”

Now the tears were winning the fight against Ben’s will. _“You own parents don’t want you around either,”_ the voice whispered in his mind, the word _either_ jumping out at him. Even if Han and Leia didn’t want Ben around, the idea of Kes not wanting Poe around – the idea of _anyone_ he had to take up smuggling. He used to say that he hoped I would _never_ have go to through what he did.”

Poe’s lip trembled slightly. “Look . . . Ben . . . don’t cry . . .”

“Why not?” Ben shouted, his shaking hand almost dropping the comm.

“Because this is something I _have_ to do . . .”

 _“Bantha crap!”_ Ben interrupted. “You’re saying that you _have_ to go risking your life in illegal spice runs just because you’re afraid of your dad??”

Now Poe looked an inch away from breaking down crying himself. “Please, Ben, don’t make this even harder.”

 _“Harder?_ What do you mean _harder?”_

“You think I’m doing this for _fun?_ Ben, you don’t know what it’s like to live with someone who wishes you’d _never been born,_ who blames _you_ for his wife’s death!”

“At least your dad didn’t ship you off to your uncle!” He hadn’t meant for those words to come out, but once they did, another sob followed. Some part of him wanted Han and Leia to gather him in the tight hugs they used to give him when he had nightmares. He wanted them to hug him _and_ Poe, show Poe that he wasn’t alone.

Poe’s hologram flickered a little as he gulped. “My dad _would_ have shipped me off if he could, but now he doesn’t have to.”

“Poe . . .”

“It’s okay, Ben. I’ll be okay and I’ll keep in touch.”

Ben blinked at the hologram, wishing he could just reach in and give Poe a hug. “You promise there?”

“Yeah,” said Poe, giving a forced smile. “I’m not gonna let my best friend go through his Jedi hardships alone.” He stuck out his hand as if offering to Ben. “Here for each other?”

“Here for each other,” Ben repeated, brushing Poe’s tiny holographic hand with his own fingers.

“This isn’t goodbye,” said Poe. “We’ll see each other again someday, I promise.”

Ben didn’t need the Force to sense the uncertainty behind that promise, but he too made himself smile, mainly for Poe’s sake. “We _will_ see each other again,” he repeated, trying to assure both of them.

“Yeah,” said Poe. “I mean, you don’t have to agree with my choice or anything. You can be disappointed in me, angry at me, I just don’t want you to hate me.”

“I could _never_ hate you.”

Again Poe looked close to tears. “You can tell everyone I’m all right. And . . . well, take care of yourself.” He looked like he had so much more to say, but instead he hung up.

Ben stared at the spot where his friend’s hologram had been, feeling dazed. Poe . . . a spice runner. How could he ever put those two things together? Even though Han _had_ been a smuggler, he didn’t do it just to rebel against his father.

Exactly _what_ was going on between Poe and Kes?

Ben’s teeth ran over his bottom lip. Maybe Poe wasn’t telling him everything, maybe he really would never see his friend again, but whatever was happening, he knew one thing for certain.

He would be there for Poe.

THE END


End file.
